It was in May we found out that grandma was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. For those of you who don't know her she was the kind that couldn't stay seated for more than 10 minutes, always had to be cleaning, landscaping her yard, making pies, canning peaches, or making baked goodies for her neighbors. She always thought of others. She liked to keep busy. We used to joke with her at times "grandma can't you just sit still for 5 minutes"? Now more than ever I would give anything to see her doing all those things again and being busy till her hearts content as long as she wanted instead of needing 24 hour care and being bed ridden and unable to walk.
In the past 2 months we have had a few scares where she has gotten out of bed trying to walk on her own and falling yet in her mind she doesn't remember it. Some times we have days where she is more alert and other days it is a struggle for her to put a sentence together. Our family has always said more than anything we want grandma to have quality of life and seeing that robbed from her more and more is heart wrenching.
Even though this cancer is robbing her of her quality of life she is strong and a fighter. These 4 months have been emotional and stressful for the family but we have moments of laughter with some of the things grandma says and does. Here is a cute grandma story.
Grandma has had a lot of visitors in the past few months such as; hospice, physical therapist, bather, chaplain, social worker...etc. One day the physical therapist called the house and my sisters fiance who takes care of my grandma during the day, he answers all the phone calls apparently grandma beat him to answering the phone since it was by her bed. She told the therapist she didn't need them to come. I'm glad that the therapist knew that it probably wasn't accurate and she needed to confirm. Luckily she called Jameson back a little later and he confirmed that the family wanted her to come. Grandma is cute...she still has her stubborness at times.
When growing up if my sister and I were sick, mom would pick us up from school and take us to grandmas. There was just something about grandma and grandpas where over spoiling us to health was the best medicine. Now that she is sick I feel helpless as I can't make her get better and this stupid cancer isn't just going to go away. It's hard when as a believer you know that God heals and I have seen miracles take place where people have been healed of cancer and life threatening diseases and I have experienced where that hasn't been the case. I know that God is still good and he is still very faithful.
I am reminded in the scriptures Proverbs 18:21 "Death and life are in the power of the tongue" I want the words that are released out of my mouth to speak life and not death.
I have learned there are power in our words and I have continued to speak LIFE into all situations but especially into my grandmas body and I continue to pray for her every time I hold her hand.
Gods timing is never our timing and we never know when our day will come when Jesus calls us home. During this time I enjoy any bit of quantity time I can with her as well as those I love and live life to the fullest. I don't take for granted the life I have and those in my life I love.